Thoughts & Feelings

Do I Still Hate My Wedding Day?

Hello Lovey Readers

Last June I wrote a post about how I hated my Wedding Day, I actually learned a lot from that post. I realised how sensitive I actually am and how much I can bend to people’s expectations/wants and chose that over what I want to do, just to keep the peace or stop hurt feelings. This isn’t something that I would have thought about myself, and I’m sure people around me wouldn’t have thought this either. So it was interesting to see this in myself and since then I have been trying to do what I want, but without ruffling feathers, I’ve concentrated on myself more but still trying to keep everyone around me happy (you know what it’s like…)

Keep scrolling, I stop talking and show you pictures…

As you probably know, Mr T and I have been redecorating the house, which has meant sorting out photo frames and photos for the walls. We very quickly realised that we don’t have any pictures of us together, we aren’t really the type of couple who does that, we take pictures with the dogs or of the dogs, but never just the two of us. So I decided to reach out of my Wedding photographer, Chris Porteous, and ask for a disc of our Wedding photos that I could print out myself, I expected to pay and I wasn’t sure if he would still have them being we were married nearly 4 years ago.

Turns out Chris had them, he put them on a disc for us and Sue (his amazing assistant) dropped them into our house for us. All free of charge! He is such a lovely man, and my mum is getting married this year and is using him for her photos, he’s brilliant, so if you live in the North Wales area, definitely book a meeting with him!

Mr T and I sat down to look at our Wedding photos, and I was expecting to hate it all over again, but I surprised. I actually enjoyed looking at them, I loved seeing the people I care about happy, even if I don’t see some of them anymore, it was nice to see how happy they were for me. And Mr T looks very happy in the photos, which was nice, I’m also smiling and can see moments of happiness there too.
So it was a great experience to go back and see these images.

Below are a few of my favourite images, and under those is a little bit more rambling

I do love these pictures, sorry for so many. Here’s a little more rambling…

So the question remains, do I still hate my Wedding day? Yes and no. And I think hate it now too strong a word for it, but I struggle for another word. I hate how I felt around that time of my life, I hated how I was so concerned with what other people wanted I put my own wants on the back burner. I hated how stressful I found the day, and how much I wanted to hide away.

But I love the photos, they show how everyone was happy, everyone was enjoying themselves. I love that they show the love in the room from everyone there. And I love that they capture Mr T and I in moments of happiness, which at that time was so rare.

So I think in the end, I’m glad that it happened the way it did, I’m glad that I learned from it and I’m glad that it’s helped me to make changes and really figure out who I am as a person, and who I want to be. I will always have those ‘hates’ surrounding that time of my life, and I’m disappointed that they tarnish what should be the happiest of times, but I’ve also come to accept that my life will always be tarnished with sadness. But that’s okay, my life is also filled with happiness and love, from our family, our fur-babies and of course Mr T, so I know I am very lucky in so many ways.

Hope you liked the photos, and remember to always keep fighting

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